“Work is my salvation. It changes my moods.” -Zane Grey
I have resisted writing this page, but since I often read the About page on other blogs I decided not to hold out any longer. I resisted writing it initially because my “About” was mostly about the past, which I wish to forget, or at least get over. I also resisted it because my career was behind me (I took early retirement) and my resume and the list of my accomplishments were no longer about me. It seems like it all happened to someone else.
I keep saying I am in midlife, or somewhere thereabouts, depending on how long I am expected to live, but right now I would have to live to be far past 100 for this to be the middle of my life. That one sentence pretty much defines who I am right now—one foot firmly planted in my future (that is a completed step) and one foot still stretched across the void, touching the crumbling cliffs of my past. My toe-hold on the past is weakening in the face of my need for an ever-larger future to balance the scales, right the wrongs, and let me say at the end that I got what I wanted at last.
A funny thing happens when that bridge is finally crossed and you are definitely on the “other side” of the midlife chasm. You look back as if from a ship at sea, the shore drifting farther, and farther away. Of course you are on a heading somewhere but many of us at this age don’t know our destination, or what unexpected port calls await us. It’s enough to still be sailing onward, able to feel the wind and spray, mentally and physically competent enough to understand all that you have come to know to be true (or false). And just as one at sea is relaxed and away from the craziness of everyday life, I am separated from the treadmill that was life.
I am an artist, mother, grandmother and wife. I have lived multiple private lives but worked only in the arts, mixing portraiture with a few years as a technical illustrator at NASA and almost twenty years as a graphic artist in the town next to where I grew up. I have had my share of achievements, awards, kudos, and art exhibits, and had nearly exhausted my interest in the graphic arts and publishing by the time I left.
My art now serves as a personal expression and love of artisanry. It’s a joy to work with color, light and form without constraint. I am most inspired by my ever-changing mood, be it love, anger, euphoria or depression. I love poetry and have been most inspired to create when I find those passages that reveal to me that I am not alone, that my exact thoughts have already been felt and recorded.
To sum it up, my art celebrates the heart—in hope, in pain, in love, in loss. My art is about passion. I believe the second half of life is risky, and that if you don’t find a passion, you will waste your only opportunity to have really lived. The first half was about survival. This half has to be about going for it… with all my heart.