I was wandering around the park on Saturday feeling sorry for myself that Abby, my girl golden, wanted to be with S, not me. And I was feeling bad that our walk wasn’t what she wanted — I wasn’t what she wanted. S was finishing Sunny’s last obedience class and Sunny was loving it. Abby whined the whole way around, kept looking back, and was fearful going on without our two guys.
The tennis courts were full of men — laughing, bonding, breathing hard. The basketball courts were filled with men and boys. All ages. Where were all the women? I don’t know, that’s the problem. If you’re a guy and you get up on Saturday morning and go play [insert sport here] with the guys, you’re probably not out there worrying about the groceries, housekeeping, or what your wife/girlfriend/mother is doing/thinking/feeling, unlike most women, who keep all the balls in the air at once.
Why does it seem like men are able to go off and be single, just BE, so much more easily than we can? I mean, where were all the women? What does a woman do without her husband/boyfriend/children on Saturday morning besides shopping/groceries/coffee-with-a-friend? And do any of those things sound remotely as interesting as playing tennis with the guys? Laughing, bonding, huffing, puffing, forgetting? It’s leisure with a capital L.
The only thing I can think of as leisure for women is the mani-pedi, spa thing or girl-shopping and neither of those lights me up with anticipation. Sports are rousing! Competition is invigorating! Fresh air, no formaldehyde cloud like the hair and nail salon. And women aren’t usually doing the competitive thing with each other anyway. We’re more likely to be looking for companionship and community than triumph. Women besting women? In sports, yeah, but not in daily life.
Ok, so there’s the book club…snooze. I love books. I even like to talk about them, but talking about books is not like smacking a ball back at someone.
So, what then? I guess I am upset that I, we(women) have no weekly outlet for aggression, no stress-busting Saturday. I’m 57 and haven’t been able to play sports for 20 years (I have CFS and Fibro). I used to play volleyball, badminton (and I was terrible at softball). But I miss dancing the most… aerobics, Jazzercise, anything to music, and nightclubs. I can and would consider calling a killer game of canasta a sport, but I haven’t played cards in years. I miss you grandma!
Leisure for me now is weekend errands, the bookstore and lunch with S at one of the two or three places we always go.
I admit I miss working. I don’t miss the workplace (ugh). But now that I am (semi) retired I need something to do on the weekend more than ever. Otherwise the days all blend until there is no weekday/weekend difference. Like hospital food, life becomes bland without something to spice it up. And like said bland diet, reminds you that you are old or ill.
There’s good reason I wasn’t playing tennis Saturday. And I enjoyed my short, relaxing walk. But I keep wondering, where were all the other women?