Call me

Ring… ring…


(unknown background noises, shuffling, silence)


(pert woman’s east coast voice) Hello, is this “With All My Heart”?

This is “With All My Heart Art“.

Hi, my name is blah blah and I’m with blah blah service, the world’s largest supplier of online Visa transactions. Are you able to accept Visa transactions online?

Yes, I am.

How long have you been accepting Visa transactions online?

That is private information.

(sarcastic tone) You have a good day with your “private information,” dear… fast click… dial tone.


Snarky bitch. I should call her back. Crap, it says “unknown caller” because I had caller ID turned off when I got my cell phone. Oh well, it’s a tough way to make a living. But every time someone pisses me off it makes it harder for the next person who wants my business. It’s not like I get any GOOD calls on that line. My home telephone is now a dreaded object. My husband says to let it go to voice mail. Just don’t answer it. But do I listen to him? Of course not!

I miss the time when a ringing telephone in the house meant something very, very different. Those were the good old days —  running for the phone, tripping over the coffee table, so I didn’t miss that call. Could be a boy(!), a girlfriend, an invitation, or some juicy gossip. Of course it might be for my mom or dad too. But how times have changed (sigh).

CALL ME (Written by Tony Hatch)

If you’re feeling sad and lonely
There’s a service I can render
Tell the one who loves you only
I can be so warm and tender

Call me
Don’t be afraid, you can call me
Maybe it’s late, but just call me
Tell me, and I’ll be around

When it seems your friends desert you
There’s somebody thinking of you
I’m the one who’ll never hurt you
Maybe that’s because I love you

Call me
Don’t be afraid, you can call me
Maybe it’s late, but just call me
Tell me, and I’ll be around

Now don’t forget me
‘Cause if you let me
I will always stay by you
You’ve got to trust me
That’s how it must be
There’s so much that I can do

If you call I’ll be right with you
You and I should be together
Take this love I long to give you
I’ll be at your side forever

Call me
Don’t be afraid, you can call me
Maybe it’s late, but just call me


Click Here for a good resource on consumer laws about telemarketing calls.
Click Here for “How to Make a Telemarketer Cry (or, Suing Bozos for Fun and Profit)”

4 thoughts on “Call me

  1. I don’t usually get cold-callers who are bitchy, but I do get a lot of those horrible recorded messages that say “you’ve won such and such an amount” I just hang up. I’m afraid usually the person to be unpleasant with coldcallers and the like, is me!

    Just to let you know, you’re not alone in feeling annoyed with these sorts of calls.

    As for nicer times with the phone, my experience is a bit different as I was brought up in a doctor’s home (my dad was a family doctor) and so the phone mostly had to be left free in case of emergencies. It put a damper on my social life no end. Eventually, I got my own phone while I was still living at home, but by then I hated the phone – and I still do.

  2. ah, well, my dad had a business phone in the house too, but he (knowing my mom) got his own line! And that was way back then. I’m surprised he spent the extra money for it. I know what it’s like to have to answer the business phone at the house.

    That would have been terrible to have to compete for the phone, or not use it much at all. I can see why you’d end up hating it.

  3. I have come to absolutely abhor my phone. We no longer have a house phone as our family is too consumeristic for such an antiquated thing. Eldest son communicates only via text. My husband texts and phones. Youngest son calls and texts infrequently. I, however, leave my phone in whatever room I happen not to be in at any given time so that I can say, “Oh, I didn’t hear it ringing.”

    I remember staying on the phone with a boyfriend for almost three hours when I was 16. It was a virtual lifeline. Now, I cannot hang up quickly enough (unless it’s an old friend, and we are catching up).

  4. @poietes
    I hear you, that’s funny you hate the phone. I feel too isolated without it. But I’ve got an empty nest in an outback town. I miss having kids around the house. I haven’t started texting yet. I’d probably drive my grown kids (and my husband) nuts if I did.

    I remember long phone calls to a boyfriend or girlfriend when you didn’t have a car yet and couldn’t just go see them! The phone was a lifeline then.

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