Oh, I am so unhappy with the internet and blogging lately. Why is something so BIG, so FULL OF INTERESTING THINGS AND PEOPLE, so unsatisfying?
Maybe it’s because it’s so IMPERSONAL, so FULL OF RULES AND LIMITS that we have become numb to it — or worse — follow each other like lemmings over a cliff?
Maybe it’s because I just watched Surrogates and had to admit that using avatars on the internet is a poor substitute for connecting face to face, which makes my living in a cultural and literal desert all the more painful.
Maybe it was reading Jaron Lanier’s DIGITAL MAOISM: The Hazards of the New Online Collectivism and realizing that Facebook-enforced conformity, commodification, and reductionism FOR PROFIT have not enhanced my life as much as it has theirs, and getting pissed off that the aggregators make money off of us, the creators! Showing our art without pay is tantamount to flashing, all in the name of getting adoration from the fetishist crowd, while not making one thin dime.
Not to mention that I have been made random, not individual, by WordPress (just happens to be the one I chose) — having to choose from a very limited set of fonts as my voice, layouts as my face, and genres as my personality. I have been forced to choose a so-so blog template from a number of unsatisfying blog templates or become a fucking programmer if I want something that represents me more closely.
Yes, I know that I COULD have all that customized by a paid pro, but everyone knows that art and music and PEOPLE are still only mini-me’s when squashed to fit the internet — synthesized MP3’s of ourselves, with billions of bytes discarded to fit the template, and the available space.
You do realize, don’t you, that this blog is a poor substitute for me, right? And that most us aspire to LOOK OUR BEST onscreen? But who am I really? Can you see me? The photo above was taken today, on a rainy, quiet, but pissy day.
And… THIS IS NOT MY HANDWRITING!
Think about that for a minute. Virtually everything besides someone’s homemade video is only an avatar of the real person, so how do you know if you like them? Because they use a great font? Your favorite color? Appeal to your counter-culture side? Inspire your trust, or lust? So, you like what they have to say, but would you if you could see what they are wearing? How they fix their hair? Where they live? Realities shatter projections, and projections are what the internet is all about.
Who is running this cavalcade of shows? And who is profiting? I feel now, at almost 57, as I did at 17. I despise the establishment. Why wasn’t I warned about hive mentality? It should be taught in school, but not as somewhere over there, on the other side of the world. It’s right here, right now, in lockstep with the future.