I’m glad this isn’t my EKG. My doctor would be telling me I take myself too seriously. I take this blog too seriously. Lots of people are having way more fun blogging than I am. This graph proves that I take blogging too seriously. Starting on the left you’ll see that MosaicMoods was going along its merry little way, with some small ups and downs when there were new posts and/or nothing new to see here.
Then came THE BIG DAY. Someone stumbled me. I don’t know for sure which post they stumbled but my hits went up 4 times what they normally are. My stats showed the majority of the hits came from one StumbleUpon referral. I’ve been Stumbled before and got one or two hits off of it. But this was exciting! I had posted Unconditional art the day before this spike occurred and it is now the second most read post on my blog. In it, I basically said that “once you reach a certain level with your art, I think it’s useless to ask for or react to criticism.” I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the post was about a comment I left on Alyson B. Stanfield’s Art Biz Blog and the next day my stats spiked. This was and still is my biggest day yet.
The next day my blog tanked. Well, actually, it went back down to its normal level, but see how my expectations had grown? Where before I was reasonably happy just to see the chart not flatline, now I wanted it to stay up in the big numbers. I got another little spike two days later on “Unconditional art” and then that post flatlined. But…another, earlier post – some tiny little observation I made about why I love Susan Boyle – took off, reached another zenith and hasn’t stopped fueling my stats since. “I Love Susan Boyle” is my number one, top-read post. And it’s only two paragraphs long, but it was heartfelt.
My Mother’s Day post was traumatic. I have a hard time writing about my mother. I love/hate it. It’s like opening an old box of photos, which is exactly what I had to do to find this photograph. Not fun, but worth it. After that I couldn’t post. “One enchanted evening” didn’t get very many readers (9) and I guess I was feeling sad that “I love Susan Boyle” has 505 515 521 857 944 1,258 1387 1445 1563 2167! and I’ve never even met her. But I see how riding the coattails of a popular person can bring readers to your site. I just hope they stay and check out some other posts and have a look at my art. I even wish they would buy something. (Edit: Thank you to all the readers I have so far, and thank you for the wonderful comments you’ve left about my art and my moody posts. Oh, and thank you to whoever Stumbled me.)
Looking at the far right of the graph, you’ll see I’m about to hit rock bottom, so I thought I’d better write something, and quick. I fear losing the few readers I have gained. I fear going broke. But what I fear more is not mattering. All this talk about the internet making our society more narcissistic is rubbish. I believe that people are not overly confident but insecure. And narcissism is created long before one’s fingers are old enough to hit the keyboard anyway. For most people, it’s “I write/paint/knit/dance/sing/coach/play the tuba, therefore I exist.” Simple as that.